WEBVTT
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Join the City Guard as a merc
and fight alongside Tesla.
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Even I, genius that I am,
find this option difficult.
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Zero point one percent
chance of survival means...
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...99.9% chance to ruin my console!
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"Enlistment and Baptism"
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Chance of survival 0.1%...
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I-If I'm gonna quit this game,
isn't now the time?
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"Pant-shitter who became
a merc after the goblin assault."
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"Pant-shitter who became
a merc after the goblin assault."
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I-I didn't shit my pants!
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You're unbelievably stupid!
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Your console is toast! My condolences!
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Sh-Shut up! I'm on
this site to avoid that!
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But in the unlikely event
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that you earned the title
"Best Best Friend Killer"
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your chances aren't zero.
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What? You mean...
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"Best Best Friend Killer:
The Best Amicide"
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Fat chance you earned it, though.
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Anyway. It's hopeless.
Just die. That's all.
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I obtained the title "The Best Amicide."
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You aren't lying, are you?
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Enter the words of the promise.
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"Enter the words!"
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Why is this locked behind a password?
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"We's best friends forever."
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"We's best friends forever."
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Not only were you haunted by a ghost,
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but you also escaped your
crazed childhood friend.
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Not bad, I must say.
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Some people could take a decade
and never figure those words out.
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Very well.
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I'll tell you the trick to Kiwame Quest.
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The trick?
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Your chance of survival might
just go from 0.1% to about 0.5%.
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That's practically no change!
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But first, you must endure
the five days of training.
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Endure until the second wave
of the goblin assault.
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But be warned, depending on the player,
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it will break you.
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For real?
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This game really is extreme.
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For you garbage players it will be tough,
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but a failure who can't overcome
this will never succeed in life.
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Dig deep, even if you have to fake it.
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True, the goblin assault is
a hellish event with SS-difficulty.
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But once you clear it,
you'll encounter the true mystery of Ted.
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Try to keep your eyes open,
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and think.
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I wrote that the chance of survival
is 0.1%, but despite that I cleared it.
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In other words, you're on the
razor's edge, but it's not impossible.
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Got that, worm?
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His tone was nasty as ever,
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but it was like...
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Like he was saying,
"Can you do it? I did. Now it's your turn."
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That's the feeling I got.
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I still have my second custard cup,
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but I've lost my appetite.
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I don't want to brick my console,
nor do I have the money for a new one.
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It would be reasonable to
quit KQ at this point, but...
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What? You're disturbing me.
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Here. For you.
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C-Custard? Why?
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I'm about to play
that full-dive RPG again.
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What? You didn't sell it?
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I tried to.
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But... I decided not to.
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Why? You said it was a shitty game.
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Yeah. It couldn't be shittier.
It's the epitome of a shitty game.
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But...
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You threw in the towel on
running and took up full-dive RPGs,
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and to top it off you even abandon that!
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You're just pathetic!
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I decided to at least get
to a good ending point.
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You came just to tell me that?
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School is off for several days.
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So, I'd like to play the whole time.
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So I also wanted to warn you.
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Why tell me this?
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Kaede, I think I'll scream again tonight.
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Obviously I'll try not to, but I'll fail.
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No doubt I'll scream.
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Wh-What's going on here?
Are you messing with--
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Kaede.
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It's just like you said.
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I feel like, ever since I quit running,
I've been running away from things.
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I'll probably end up bothering you.
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But,
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I want to see something through.
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Please let me.
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Oh, whatever! Leave me alone.
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I'm sorry, Kaede.
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Are you ready now?
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Yeah!
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To Queen Govern's mansion then.
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Let's go!
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I saw.
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In the walkthrough. The stuff
about 0.1% chance of survival.
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Oh.
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You should've checked the
walkthrough first! Nincompoop.
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Nothing I can do now.
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Anyway, we need to
make it through the training.
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Five days...
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Just what happens?
He said it could break me.
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No idea.
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New recruits to the Guard
sleep at the training grounds.
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But first we greet Queen Govern.
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I see.
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The cries of someone being tortured again.
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That's disturbing.
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I appreciate your enlistment.
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I am Govern. I administer this city.
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P-Pleased to meet you.
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Not what I imagined
from the name "Govern"...
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Huh?
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Guards are the treasure of the city.
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Please protect the people
of the city from the goblins.
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I will be praying for your safety.
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That was hilarious!
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And the sound you made!
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You sounded like a certain
popstar breaking into a dance.
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Anyone would react that way
to suddenly being latched onto.
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Oh? Then maybe I should
test that some time.
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D-Don't...
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...do that.
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Here are the training grounds.
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Everyone, I'd like to
introduce a new colleague.
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This is Hiro. He has temporarily
enlisted as a mercenary.
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I-I look forward to
fighting alongside you.
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And we have two more.
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There were other new recruits?
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This is Granada and Palù.
They are also mercs.
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Hey.
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'Sup.
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All of you, make our three
new recruits feel welcome.
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Welcome!
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Glad to have you!
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Your efforts have driven the goblins back.
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However, the goblins may attack again.
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Train hard and be ready!
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Yes, sir!
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The goblins' target this time
seemed to be Queen Govern's mansion.
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Perhaps their monster instincts told them
the city would fall if the mansion falls.
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We must protect the city
and protect Queen Govern!
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That is our duty as
members of the Ted City Guard!
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Work hard, Hiro.
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Huh? I thought Tesla would be training me.
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Hey. Thanks for joining.
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To start, let me show you
your lodgings. Follow me.
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I'm Bob.
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I just became a Guard about a month ago,
so I'm only technically your senior.
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No need for formality.
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Thanks, Bob.
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Nobody seemed very strong.
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Well, you're obviously
the strongest, Granada.
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You mercs have pluck.
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That's the spirit!
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So this is my room.
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Reona, you've been quiet.
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I thought it best not to
speak during explanations.
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I want you to focus on the game.
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I see. So there's a
method to your madness.
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Of course. I'm a first-rate game advisor!
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And not a hint of irony.
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Well, I'm gonna get changed now.
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Go ahead. I don't mind.
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I do mind!
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Oh, you do?
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Not like there's anything to see, anyway.
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Did I just hear crude remarks?
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All changed?
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Yep. All set.
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Then let's head back. It's time
for some light practical training.
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W-With a sword?
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Yes. And martial arts.
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All right! Finally, a tutorial!
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The game's been strangely RPG-like lately!
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Now, no need to be nervous!
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Today's more like an
introduction exercise. You can relax.
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Hmm. What's this?
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Wh-What's what?
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You're pretty slender. Do you specialize
in covert operations or something?
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Covert? Not really.
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Is that so? Well, I suppose
you'll be fine. I suppose.
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Right.
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Come at me!
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What's wrong?
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Put more oomph into it!
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Whoops, it's already started.
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Oh, Instructor!
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New recruits Granada and Palù.
And Hiro, I presume.
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Wait, you?!
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This guy's the instructor?!
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I'm Amos, the Training Instructor here.
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You better do as I say!
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Otherwise we'll throw you out!
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Especially you!
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M-Me?
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Captain Tesla seems to
have taken a liking to you.
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But skill and ability
are what matters here!
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There's no room for dead weight!
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You mean, "Yes, sir!"
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And where were your salutes?
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Yes, sir...
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I better get things into gear.
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Hiro! So you became a Guard after all.
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--Huh?
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--I'm Cathy.
--Huh?
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After the goblin attack...
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I was the one who took that girl home.
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She told me about how you saved her.
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Freaking Amos. He just pushed
the job on someone else.
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I'm glad to have a brave ally.
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Nice to meet you.
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Of course. The feeling is mutual.
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Hey! You two!
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You're supposed to be training!
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What makes you think you can loaf about?
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You know what? Fine.
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We'll start practical
training with you, Hiro!
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All right!
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Bring it on.
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I was nearly killed by frenzied goblins
and a frenzied childhood friend.
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A wooden sword match is nothing.
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W-Well, now you look serious.
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Good luck, Hiro!
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Let's eat together after!
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All right!
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Sh-Show some respect!
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C-C-Come at me!
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Fine. Here I come!
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What?
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S-So you're good.
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Shake it off, Hiro!
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Hiro, stay calm and watch
his movements carefully!
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Now that I look,
that's an amateur's stance.
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My hands are tingling!
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Come on now!
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From your loafing
I thought you might be tough.
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But you're a weakling.
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He sucks...
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Seriously? He's so weak!
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Well, look how skinny he is.
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A merchant could do better.
Build some muscle.
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So that's what Bob was concerned about.
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Everybody does look pretty built...
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Hiro, are you okay?
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I didn't know Amos was so strong.
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I mean, he's an instructor with the Guard.
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He wouldn't lose to a high-school
student. This isn't a manga.
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Sure, it's not a manga, but it is a game!
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Whoa!
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That all ya got, teach?
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Tr-Training is over for today!
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Ow, ow, ow.
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He wasn't much.
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You're amazing, Granada!
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We gained a strong ally!
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I bet he could beat a goblin!
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H-Hey, Bob.
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Training is over, so...
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...shall we go?
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Uh... actually something came up. Sorry.
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Hey, um...
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Huh?
15:40.970 --> 15:42.890
It was incredible!
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The food's good today.
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You've been totally ostracized.
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Don't say it out loud.
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Hiro, you look pretty out of place.
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This was the obvious result of a high
schooler becoming a mercenary.
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You should've thought more
before volunteering.
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It seemed like a classic video game event!
16:07.000 --> 16:09.080
Well, it's only five days!
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Just tough it out and it'll be over!
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And you'll get to learn Kamui's trick!
16:14.920 --> 16:16.840
Y-You're right.
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It's only the first day. I don't
need Kamui making fun of me.
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That's the spirit, Hiro!
16:22.100 --> 16:25.430
You've been made fun of enough already!
16:27.770 --> 16:29.770
This was a tiring day.
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Shall we sleep until morning?
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Huh? Sleep inside the game?
16:34.190 --> 16:37.070
You've played full-dive
RPGs before, right?
16:37.070 --> 16:40.410
Sleeping in the game is pretty common.
16:40.410 --> 16:42.450
Well, that's true.
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Are you lonely? Is that it?
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Want me to join you?
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N-No thanks!
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Oh, too bad.
16:49.880 --> 16:52.750
J-Join me?
16:52.750 --> 16:56.420
What would've happened if I'd said yes?
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What? Already?!
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"Day 2"
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"Day 2"
17:06.140 --> 17:08.230
Hiro, wake up. It's morning.
17:08.230 --> 17:08.690
17:08.690 --> 17:11.520
G-Good morning...
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This groggy feeling...
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They're even realistic about this, too?
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They used cutting-edge neuroscience to
make you feel as if you'd slept for hours.
17:22.370 --> 17:25.740
Unnecessarily high tech of them.
17:25.740 --> 17:29.500
More importantly,
everyone's already training.
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What?! Lead with that!
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I'm sorry I'm late!
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My, Granada, you've got
such talent! Yes, yes. That's it!
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Just keep going like that.
17:47.810 --> 17:51.940
Amos is already buttering him up.
17:51.940 --> 17:53.940
Huh? Oh, you. You're here?
17:53.940 --> 17:55.900
Of course I'm here!
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Hiro, I know he's frustrating,
but he's still the instructor.
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Let's act like it.
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R-Right.
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Excuse me, Instructor Amos.
What should I do?
18:06.410 --> 18:08.290
Try practice swings.
18:08.290 --> 18:10.370
Practice swings.
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If I do those, will I discover
a special move or something?
18:13.580 --> 18:16.170
Don't be silly! Are you a child?
18:16.170 --> 18:18.130
But Tesla has a special move.
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He's a genius while you're mediocre!
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Why did he even recruit you?
18:24.640 --> 18:28.970
Please just teach me.
I'll practice as hard as I can.
18:28.970 --> 18:33.060
Listen here. You think a
little practice is all it takes?
18:33.060 --> 18:37.020
If it was, why the hell would
we have trained for years?
18:37.020 --> 18:39.280
Y-You have a point, sir.
18:39.280 --> 18:42.280
Besides, you're utterly hopeless.
18:42.280 --> 18:44.320
You completely lack talent for this.
18:44.320 --> 18:47.950
You're like an 80-year-old
who wants to become a dancer!
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Do you get it?
18:49.540 --> 18:53.330
I'm treated like a geezer?!
I'm the game's protagonist!
18:53.330 --> 18:55.210
Well, you can't say he's wrong.
18:55.210 --> 18:57.340
Why don't you do
practice swings like he says?
18:57.340 --> 19:00.090
F-Fine.
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I heard this guy murdered his best friend.
19:08.930 --> 19:14.810
Really? And he's allowed to join?
What if he comes for us while we sleep?
19:14.810 --> 19:20.900
No, that was all a misunderstanding.
Tesla determined it was an accident, so--
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Stop dragging everyone down.
19:24.780 --> 19:26.160
Huh?
19:26.160 --> 19:30.660
One weak link can make the chain fail.
19:30.660 --> 19:32.120
Get me?
19:32.120 --> 19:34.250
W-Well I uh...
19:35.250 --> 19:38.290
Hiro, you can train with me if you like.
19:38.290 --> 19:40.340
Th-Thanks!
19:40.340 --> 19:43.010
Pathetic.
19:43.010 --> 19:45.470
What's wrong? Change your mind?
19:45.470 --> 19:49.640
N-Not at all! Coming! I'll be right there!
19:49.640 --> 19:52.560
You have a friend. Reassuring, huh?
19:52.560 --> 19:54.850
It is.
19:54.850 --> 19:56.190
I'm pooped.
19:56.190 --> 19:57.600
I'm so hungry.
19:57.600 --> 19:58.730
Whad'ya think we get?
19:58.730 --> 20:00.190
Bread, like always.
20:00.190 --> 20:03.990
Use your pinky, ring finger,
and middle finger more.
20:03.990 --> 20:07.240
Your thumb and pointer
can be like support.
20:07.240 --> 20:08.490
O-Okay.
20:08.490 --> 20:14.040
Bend your right elbow slightly,
and use your left arm as solid support.
20:14.040 --> 20:15.460
L-Like this?
20:15.460 --> 20:18.630
Yeah. Looks good.
20:18.630 --> 20:21.800
"L-Like this?" That's you!
20:23.710 --> 20:25.510
Okay, break's over!
20:25.510 --> 20:27.840
You over there! Get moving!
20:27.840 --> 20:32.220
Oh, Granada, you're fine as you are.
20:32.220 --> 20:36.940
Thanks to Cathy I actually
managed to learn something.
20:38.940 --> 20:39.440
"Day 3"
20:39.440 --> 20:42.400
"Day 3"
20:39.440 --> 20:42.400
Today we're supposed to
learn practical techniques, but...
20:42.400 --> 20:43.860
20:43.860 --> 20:45.570
I'm screwed.
20:45.570 --> 20:50.950
Begin the practice matches on my command!
20:50.950 --> 20:52.830
Begin!
20:55.450 --> 20:58.420
Oh, come on! This isn't practice!
20:58.420 --> 21:03.170
Forget goblins. One of those
strikes will take me out first!
21:03.170 --> 21:04.840
What's wrong, Hiro?
21:04.840 --> 21:09.680
G-Grip tightly with this finger,
then support... right arm...
21:09.680 --> 21:12.680
Wait. How did it go? Dammit!
21:12.680 --> 21:14.850
Only one option now!
21:16.390 --> 21:21.400
Go all-out! Strike with all my might!
21:21.400 --> 21:22.770
Huh?
21:22.770 --> 21:26.860
What was that wimpy attack?
21:26.860 --> 21:29.610
Match over! Winner, Granada!
21:29.610 --> 21:30.660
Nice move!
21:30.660 --> 21:32.740
Go, Granada!
21:34.990 --> 21:38.750
Just quit already.
21:38.750 --> 21:41.880
Having you here is worse than useless.
21:41.880 --> 21:46.630
If you don't wanna leave,
start paying us for the privilege.
21:46.630 --> 21:50.680
Yeah. Then you'd be worth having around.
22:00.770 --> 22:04.940
This is my life, even in a game?
23:46.380 --> 23:49.590
Episode 9: A Fairy's Power.