WEBVTT

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And in recognition of your resolve,

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I'll be honest with you.

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Reona?

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You know what? If someone
besides Kamui clears the game...

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I'd like to marry them.

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You remember that, right?

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Y-Yes, but weren't you just joking?

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Hiro, the truth is,

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ten years ago, I met Kamui.

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I say I met him,
but it was only in the game.

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I saw him strutting through Ted
clad in black armor.

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As a fellow high schooler at the time,
I couldn't help but admire him.

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So as he was exiting the city,
I ran up to him,

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and asked him to go out with me.

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That's when...

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I'm not into women
with tits like a Holstein cow.

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What?

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Everything has its limits.

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Your tits are past the limit.

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Bye now.

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Can you believe he said that to me?

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"Past the limit," really?

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My boobs aren't a credit card!

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He then went on to clear
the unbeatable Kiwame Quest!

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So I swore revenge!

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I decided to find somebody else
who successfully cleared KQ.

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"I'll marry <i>them</i>!" I swore.

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Huh? Is that the end?

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That's right!

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So, Hiro, beat the game!

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Then marry me,

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and after our honeymoon,
we'll kiss in front of Kamui

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and give him the finger
together as a happy couple!

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"A New Ally"

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That was a letdown.

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When you're that secretive,

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isn't their normally a deeper reason?
The kind that fires people up?

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I'm not fired up at all.

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I've actually lost motivation.

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Hiro, you're still awake.

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Tesla.

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I'm sorry about Amos and Granada.

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Don't be. What's past is past.

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I'm surprised to see you here so late.

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There's no telling when
the goblins will attack.

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It's keeping me awake tonight.

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I think they're coming tonight.

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Oh?

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No, I mean, it's just a hunch.

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I can't just tell him
I read it in a walkthrough.

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You're a curious fellow, Hiro.

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Hiro.

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Something tells me you want
to leave the city. Am I right?

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What?!

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No, I, um... uh...

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I get it. I do.

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If I weren't captain of the Guard,

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I'd want to blow this place and
test my skills out in the great big world.

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Tesla...

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Then let's leave the city together!

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Interesting.

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If we manage to overcome this situation,

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it might not be half bad
to go on a journey together.

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So then...

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I'll consider it.

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Yet another reason to find a way
to deal with this goblin crisis.

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Th-That all made it
seem like he might die...

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I can't allow that to happen.

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Looks like I better check the walkthrough.

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Why're you in my room?!

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Don't tell me you're actually
plotting to take me out

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by covering my nose
and mouth while I play!

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Don't be silly!

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You didn't answer no matter
how much I knocked!

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I thought you might've dropped dead!

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Oh, I see.

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So why'd you come to my room?

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Y-You were acting strange...

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I want to see something through.

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Please let me.

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It seemed like you might try to go out
playing a full-dive RPG or something.

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So I just kinda... came to investigate!

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Oh, you were worried about me!

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A-As if!

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If you died playing video games,
it'd shame the whole family!

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Right, right. Thanks, Kaede!

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Hey!

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What's the big idea?

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You know, it's better
if a rotten otaku like you

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takes a full-dive dirt nap sad and alone!

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What's a full-dive dirt nap?! Hey!

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The nerve of her!

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I remember Kamui said
he'd tell me the trick to KQ.

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You really endured the merc event, right?

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If you lie, I'll stick
1,000 needles in your balls.

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Not make me swallow them?! Scary!

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As proof, enter your current title.

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"Diabolic Spiteful Best Friend Killer"

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So you earned "Diabolic Spiteful
Best Friend Killer"? Good.

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Is it?! That was a legitimate strategy?

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Of course there were other options,

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but better to be a wicked bastard
than a gutless doormat.

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Very well. I'll tell you the trick to KQ.

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"The Trick"

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Very well. I'll tell you the trick to KQ.

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"The Trick"

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The trick!

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You mean...

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You're still looking?

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How creepy.

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I've told you all
there is to tell already!

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Don't rely on a walkthrough for
every little thing, you damned sheep!

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Why am I being scolded
for using the walkthrough?!

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Die, dumbass!

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And the site closed itself!

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There's nothing left but to do it.

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"Day 6: Day of the Goblin Assault"

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"Day 6: Day of the Goblin Assault"

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We're finally at the goblin assault.

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--Hiro, did you polish your sword?

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--Yes.
--Hiro, did you polish your sword?

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Have you eaten?

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Yes, but not too much.

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--Did you pee?

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--I did.
--Did you pee?

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--I did.
--Poop?

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--Yes.
--Poop?

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All right! You're fully prepared!

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I don't know about "fully,"
but whatever happens happens.

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I have an anouncement to make.

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Given the heightened danger of the goblins,
two new fighters will join our ranks.

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Replacements for Granada.

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It may just be two,
but I'm glad to have more support.

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This is Inquisitor Mizarisa

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and Fruit Knife Wielder From Hell Alicia.

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Make them feel welcome.

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Are you kidding me?!

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As if the goblins weren't enough!
How is that fair?!

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Hey, Hiro! Good to see ya again!

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Have you wet yourself
wonderfully today, too?

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Wet myself? I'm not a baby!

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I look forward to working with you.

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Women you've met join you
in your time of need.

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A proper video game development: a harem!

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Good for you, Hiro!

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It's not good at all!

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I might get hacked up by fruit knives and
a saw before the goblins even show up!

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We have evacuated those on the
outskirts to the center of the city,

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but many have ignored
the evacuation order.

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There are also reports of crime
occurring out of our sight.

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Thus I'd like you all to go on patrol.

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--Yes, sir!

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--What? Is today not
the day the goblins attack?
--Yes, sir!

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--What? Is today not
the day the goblins attack?

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Hmm. It looks like
there's another event first.

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Well, I'm sure it won't
be a very difficult event.

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I hope so...

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Hiro.

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I'm assigning you to the eastern district.

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Eastern district?

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It's where Ginji was.

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What?

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Oh? Is there a problem?

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Oh, no problem! It's fine!

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Good. Take Mizarisa
and Alicia on patrol with you.

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There's a huge problem with that!

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I'm so happy to be with Hiro!

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So you two <i>are </i>close.

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I thought so when I saw you
wave to each other earlier.

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She waved. I didn't!

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B-Besides!

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As you're aware,
Alicia has a grudge against me.

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It's an opportunity to clear things up!

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It won't do to have
discord among our ranks.

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But!

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I leave it to you, Hiro.

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T-T-T-Tesla!

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Hiro, are you sure?

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About what?

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I wasn't making a fuss back there, but...

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We've got a pretty big score to settle.

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She was about to kill you.

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And above all, she's creepy.

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You know you're pretty creepy yourself...

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We should keep away from her.

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I wish you'd keep away from me.

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So mean!

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Now, now. Alicia maybe,
but Mizarisa has no desire to kill you.

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Yeah. Instead she has
a raring desire to torture me.

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Anyway, why are there problems in town
during an impending goblin attack?

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You dummy. Order breaks down
most when things look bleak!

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I don't need that level
of realism in a game...

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Or is it the other way around?

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Maybe chaos in people's hearts
brings about chaos in the world.

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I wasn't seeking a
philosophical discussion.

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Thief!

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Help!

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Move it!

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F-For real? Nice one, Alici--

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Gross!

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Isn't this great, Hiro?
Let's go return her purse!

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B-B-But there's a hand on it!

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It could be considered,
like, a premium upgrade.

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In what universe?!

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You saved a townsperson!

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This is an RPG standard!

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I bet you get a reward!

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Th-That's a good point.

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E-Excuse me.

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Your purse, ma'am.

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Of course it turned out this way!

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Darn. There was no reward.

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You there. Why the hell did you do this?

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Th-The goblins are
gonna kill us all anyway!

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So you decided to satisfy your
appetites while you could. Is that it?

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You got desparate so easily.

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You know some people die young,
despite how badly they want to live.

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Right, Hiro?

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She's definitely referring to Martin!

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Don't kill me! I only did it
because I was encouraged to!

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Excuse me?

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He's been telling people that with the
Guard distracted, it's the perfect time!

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What?

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Thief!

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Help!

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--Stop!

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--Help!
--Stop!

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Leona, so then...

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Someone is instigating these crimes.

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Perhaps its the boss of this event.

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Boss?!

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I bet I can get a weapon
that will help against the goblins.

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Hey! Tell us where to find this guy!

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H-He's at the casino right over there.

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There're a lot of them.

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They're scary.

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Let's see...

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Hiro, that must be the boss!

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H-He looks tough.

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I'll take him.

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Since the only thing you're
good for is peeing yourself.

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Shut up!

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Hiro, you rescue the captives.

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O-Okay.

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Come on. You better help, too.

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I'm Inquisitor--no, right now
I'm Mizarisa of the City Guard!

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Surrender and be taken into custody.

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The City Guard?

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Interesting.

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Let's do this!

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You wanna go?

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Great!

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Now's my chance!

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You're safe now.

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What?

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Ginji?!

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What, you again?

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They captured you, too?

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Yeah! They took me and
were going to sell me off!

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For real?

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Who the hell would buy
an old dude like him?

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That was disappointing.

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Mr. Ginji, this isn't what you promised!

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Hiro!

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Don't you two move!

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If you do, I'll snap his neck!

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Hiro!

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Ginji, <i>you </i>were the instigator?

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You make it sound so bad.

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This area's been going downhill
since the goblins first attacked.

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I just gave it a little push!

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Wh-Why would you do that?

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Why, to draw the Guard's attention away!

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I made myself a nice profit.

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You blended in with the NPCs to steal?

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Well, that all ends today.

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Hey! Leave your valuables and get out!

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Otherwise I'll kill him!

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Oh, Ginji makes a refreshing villain!

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You asshole.

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After everything, I thought
we'd started a friendship of sorts.

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Idiot.

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Becoming friends after a fight?

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That's high-school drama nonsense.

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We're just two people who
met in a game. Nothing more.

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Oh, I see. I see!

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We'll never come to an understanding then.

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I hear you loud and clear,

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you old fart!

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D-Damned brat!

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Amazing, Hiro! Against Ginji,
that was astonishingly good!

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Leave the rest to me.

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Wait, Mizarisa!

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Hiro?

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Stay out of this one.

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This guy's mine.

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What? You cocky brat.

18:00.950 --> 18:02.570
So it starts again!

18:02.570 --> 18:05.120
A fight between fated rivals!

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Things are going to go
differently today, kid.

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I've got a stronger weapon with me.

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D-Don't tell me he has a magic item...

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Double brass knuckles!

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You're dead, kid!

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That's the same as last time!

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Are you stupid?

18:25.390 --> 18:29.230
You dumbass! It's twice the attack power!

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Now die!

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Like I'll lose!

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Small fry fight! Go, Ginji! Go, Hiro!

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Can we put an end to this farce now?

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Farce?!

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An NPC called it a farce...

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I-I'm sorry!

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Please forgive me.

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H-How pathetic can this get?

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Okay, line up!

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Looks like the event ended.

19:08.020 --> 19:09.520
Yeah.

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Your childhood friend is strong.

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With my gout I couldn't do a thing.

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But, Ginji, didn't you kill both your
best friend and childhood friend?

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It was years ago.

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And I killed my childhood friend before
she awakened as Hell's Fruit Slicer.

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That sound creeps me out every time.

19:36.210 --> 19:41.550
I guess that's what happens to
a person who's locked in a cell forever.

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You seem calm.

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Well, yeah.

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What's with the act?

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I'll get meals for free, and the
goblins can't reach me in the cell.

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Depending on the perspective,
prison life ain't so bad.

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I see! Positive thinking!

19:57.730 --> 20:00.280
I don't think that's what that means!

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Well, I also got out of a few
pinches this way in real life.

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What? You intentionally commit
small crimes to go to jail?

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This guy is seriously scum.

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A bit of life wisdom!

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That's not what that means!

20:15.920 --> 20:18.750
Let's go! No dawdling!

20:20.500 --> 20:24.930
You should really re-examine your life.

20:24.930 --> 20:30.430
I ain't a kid anymore.
I ain't gonna change at my age.

20:36.600 --> 20:41.110
Hiro, good work capturing
that gang of thieves.

20:41.110 --> 20:43.150
I didn't do much.

20:43.150 --> 20:46.150
It was all Mizarisa and Alicia--

20:49.780 --> 20:51.740
It's the goblins!

20:51.740 --> 20:54.330
They're finally here.

20:54.330 --> 20:56.120
Hiro, this is it!

20:56.120 --> 20:58.080
R-Right!

20:58.630 --> 20:58.830
--They're at the north gate!

20:58.830 --> 21:00.210
--Huh? Wh-What is this?
--They're at the north gate!

21:00.210 --> 21:01.460
--Huh? Wh-What is this?
--All right. Let's go!

21:01.460 --> 21:02.630
Yes, sir!

21:02.630 --> 21:05.090
M-My stomach!

21:05.090 --> 21:08.720
I told you to use the bathroom earlier!

21:08.720 --> 21:10.220
I did!

21:10.220 --> 21:11.600
But...

21:11.600 --> 21:14.520
I got it. It must be extreme nerves.

21:14.520 --> 21:18.940
You know, like how on test days you
need to use the bathroom a bunch?

21:18.940 --> 21:19.610
--What?

21:19.610 --> 21:20.270
--Sound familiar?
--What?

21:20.270 --> 21:21.610
--Sound familiar?

21:24.110 --> 21:26.030
Y-Yes, it does!

21:26.030 --> 21:28.240
But this is in a game!

21:28.240 --> 21:32.120
As I've told you,
KQ is the pinnacle of realism!

21:32.120 --> 21:35.910
Things that would happen
in real life happen in game!

21:35.910 --> 21:38.750
Anyway, just go use the bathroom!

21:45.460 --> 21:46.920
Shit! Come out already!

21:46.920 --> 21:49.340
Shit!

21:49.340 --> 21:51.300
Everyone's fighting the goblins.

21:51.300 --> 21:54.260
What am I fighting?

21:56.930 --> 21:58.980
Yes! Much better.

21:58.980 --> 22:01.400
Now to find Tesla.

22:08.030 --> 22:10.200
Eek!

22:10.200 --> 22:14.200
A goblin's peeking at me!

23:46.170 --> 23:49.460
Episode 11: City of Dead Ends.
