WEBVTT

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What did you mean "spy"?

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Hey, where did you learn it was okay
to open a door without knocking?

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If I was doing something special,
it would've been really bad!

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Or were you hoping for
something naughty, boob-girl?

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Hey, Six.

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It's hopeless. Give up.

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I won't ask who you are.

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It's the least I can do for how
you've protected this country.

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But leave.

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And never let me see you again.

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"Episode 5: 'To Be a Hero'"

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"Episode 5: 'To Be a Hero'"

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Pretend you're fighting
the Demon Lord's best men!

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Give it your all!

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Here I come, Commander!

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Next!

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Yes, ma'am!

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I know I'm greedier than most people.

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But I didn't think I'd get
my old job back like this.

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After that man left,

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the strategist assumed it was because of
me and put me back in the Royal Guard,

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along with Rose and Grimm.

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I hate to say it,
but my personality sucks.

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Commander!

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Strange movements among
the Demon Lord's army?

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Yes, Commander!

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Our observers say they
may attack in the next few days.

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I see.

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Thank you, Rose.

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And, um...

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You can call me the same thing
you've always called me.

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Okay, got it, Snow!

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Maybe I should've at least heard him out.

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I'm first!

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I want this room!

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--Wahoo! This bed is huge!

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--No fair! I'm taking the bathroom, then!
--Wahoo! This bed is huge!

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You don't even need a bathroom!

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Then give me this room
in exchange for the bathroom.

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Now then, Six.

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Let's finish our last mission.

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Yeah.

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We set up the teleporter
and connect it to Earth, right?

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Yeah.

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As soon as it's ready, we send in
our agents and invade this nation.

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The Demon Lord's going to be
no match for the power of Kisaragi.

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This mission was easy, huh?

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Something bothering you?

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I was made to provide support for you.

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I can at least hear what's on your mind.

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I'm a combat agent
for an evil organization!

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I don't care about this
barbarian planet at all!

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The beer here sucks!

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I'm gonna head straight home and
drink a whole keg of cold beer!

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I see.

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Fine, then.

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I'll get started on putting
the teleporter together.

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It'll take a month for
the phase space to stabilize,

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so go have fun somewhere.

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A month?

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I explained when we got here, right?

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Oh, right. The Demon Lord's army
is up to something.

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They're always up to something.

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Well, hear me out.

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This "Chosen One" has one
of the Elite Four pinned down,

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but the Demon Lord's army is taking
advantage of his absence at home,

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and the other leaders are
preparing for all-out attack.

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So their army will come back?

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In numbers never seen before.

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That's what you get, bitch!

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That's what you get for kicking me out!

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Well, I mean, maybe it's my fault
for being a spy... just a little.

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But she could've at least let me explain.

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In most countries, spies get executed.

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Letting you go was probably
her way of paying you back.

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What?

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I'm no hero. I'm not saving her.

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Hey, Six.

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I don't like the idea of somebody else
messing up the place

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we're going to invade. Do you?

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I'm gonna show you a magic trick, miss!

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Look, my zipper's coming down
and I didn't touch it!

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--See? See? See?

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--Pervert!
--See? See? See?

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Somebody, come quick!

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You earned evil points!

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A girl like her, out all alone at night...

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Makes you worry for
the future of this country.

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That's the sixth one tonight.

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Next is...

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Her!

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Look at me!

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Come on, miss, work up some courage
and look at the zipper on my pants!

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He's going to rape me!

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Don't worry. I won't hurt you.

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But you'd better run quick,

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'cause my zipper's coming down!

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You can't fool me!

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The minute I let your guard down
at your honeyed words,

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you'll drag me off into the darkness
and have your wicked way with me!

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Oh, no! I sprained my ankle when
I tripped and now I can't run!

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You didn't trip, though!

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No!

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You're lying! There's no way
you could resist forcing yourself

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on a beautiful, defenseless girl like me!

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No, listen...

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Huh? Where're my evil points?

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Hey, you're not really
upset at all, are you?

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All I need you to do is look at me
and feel a little disgusted or something!

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No! I don't want to just look!

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Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

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I'll look, then.

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You want to see that badly?

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Then, behold... my...

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Keep it up.

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What are you going to show me?

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I'm sorry.

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So? I knew you were
a failure as a human,

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a fool and a pervert,
and beyond salvation.

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But what is going on here?

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Um, well... I'm getting ready
for the Demon Lord's attack.

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Do you think I'm an absolute fool?

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No! I'm not lying! Really!

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I need to do this!

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--Shut up! You're making me look
like an idiot for being worried!

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--Both of you, calm down!
--Shut up! You're making me look
like an idiot for being worried!

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Um, why did you quit the military?

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You didn't hear anything?

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She wouldn't tell me when I asked...

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Snow's sexual harassment got worse by
the day, until I could no longer bear it.

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That's what I want you
to tell the rest of the castle.

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Don't spread stupid lies!

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Forget it.

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Talking with you makes me
feel stupid, too.

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I'll let you go this time,
but there won't be a next time!

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B-But...

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I heard the Demon Lord's army is coming.

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If you want the help of
a super-strong guy like me,

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then suck up and say,
"I'm sorry I was so stuck up!"

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I don't need your help!

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I told you to never let me see you again,

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so what are you doing here, anyway, idiot?

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You interrupted me, idiot! Idiot!

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Stop it!

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Or I'll bite you!

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I'll take this, and this...

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Okay. Grilled lizard and rat.
That'll be six bronze.

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Here.

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S-Sorry. I thought you were going to
take it out from under your zipper.

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There he is! Zipperman!

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Hey, Zipperman!

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Pull down your zipper and show us!

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You stupid kids!

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I'll yank down your pants
so you can be no-pants man!

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Look, that's him!

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He might pull down his zipper!

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He's a pervert!

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"Zipperman"

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Alice!

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The people in the town are really mean!

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What's wrong, Zipperman?

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Did your skin get stuck in the zipper?

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Don't call me Zipperman!

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And no! Damn it all!

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I'm doing it to fight
the Demon Lord's army, too!

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I told you to go get some Evil Points,

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but I didn't think you'd be
doing something small time.

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Zipperman.

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Don't call me that!

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Well, you worked hard, even if you suck.

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We'll save 200 points for our trump card
and use the rest on mines.

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I've predicted where the Demon Lord's army
is going to come through.

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We'll plant mines and traps
there to delay them.

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Guerrilla stuff, huh?

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It's been a while.

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I just can't see

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one of the Elite Four being dumb enough
to fall for an obvious trap like this.

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It's fine. We can take out
a single demon, at most...

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And I can imagine Heine
leaping for joy at the stone...

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It's wonderful, huh?

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You're a terrible person.

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We're done for!

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What happened?

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Um, excuse me.

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Yes, what is it...?

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--Zipperman!
--Hey!

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I'm sorry about
my pervert friend here, miss.

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What happened?
Everyone's acting weird!

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Well...

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The Chosen One has...

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...gone missing.

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"What's the chance
the teleportation succeeds?"

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I got some information for you, Zipperman.

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Listen, I want to forget that.
Would you stop?

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The Chosen One had one
of the enemy's Elite Four,

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Faustless of the Wind, almost defeated.

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But the enemy used a spell called Random
Teleport and took the chosen one with him.

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Random?

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There's no telling where he went.

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It could be in the sky
or below the ground.

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Probability-wise,
he's almost certainly dead.

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I feel bad for the Chosen One.

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If my teleportation hadn't worked,
I would've been in the same boat.

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Hey, the probability of success
for my teleportation was--

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Forget that. Didn't the legend
or tradition or whatever

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say the chosen one
would defeat the Demon Lord?

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It's unscientific, but everything
so far has followed it, right?

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Don't change the subject.

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But yeah, it's impossible for the hero
to just leave the stage halfway through.

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Hey, Six. You like games
and novels and stuff, right?

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How does a Chosen One's story usually go?

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There's usually some kind
of event where he loses.

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He'll lose to a tough enemy, train
and get stronger, and get revenge...

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Is that this random teleport?

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No, probably not.

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He was already defeated once--

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by those two bosses in Duster Tower.

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Normally, the Chosen One
would train hard, get revenge,

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and give hope to the people. But...

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Do you mean the Chosen One's legend went
off the rails 'cause I took the tower?

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Hey, you're high-spec, right?

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Is there something we can do?

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If you're willing to do whatever it takes.

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Let's hear it.

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We can have them send biological or
chemical weapons that are normally banned.

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No. Next?

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I can go alone into
the Demon Lord's castle,

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self-destruct, and take everything out.

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Absolutely not!

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Anything not as terrifying?

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Nope.

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The Chosen One was their only hope,
and he's gone.

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Even if they somehow manage to
drive back the Demon Lord once,

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it's only a matter of time.

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Let's run away!

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Hey, what's all this stuff you have?

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It's all really valuable.

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Be careful with it.

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What about the teleporter?

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I guess we have to leave it.

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Who's there? We're busy!

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Hello again, Agent Six.

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I refuse!

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I haven't said anything...

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I know what this is! You want me
to fight the Demon Lord,

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or delay him,
or be your lover or something!

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I don't really understand
that last one, but...

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Do you recognize this?

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That's my parachute!

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Hey, idiot!

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I see.

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This is called a parachute, huh?

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I'll come out and say it.

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You're a spy from
another country, aren't you?

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I'm not sure I understand
what you're saying.

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I see.

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I guess we'll have to torture you!

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I'm sorry. I lied!

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I admit I'm a spy, so forgive me!

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That was fast!

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Um, you're not arresting us?

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No.

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But I do have a request.

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This country will probably
be destroyed tomorrow.

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Would you please watch the last moments
of its knights and soldiers?

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And tell your home of the place
called the Kingdom of Grace,

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and how its soldiers fought bravely?

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Please, tell the other countries
of the danger,

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so that they can prepare for
the Demon Lord's army.

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Jeez...

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I couldn't say no, the way she asked.

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Should we just run?

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If we want to run, it's better to do it
when the Demon Lord's army is attacking!

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It's the commander!

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What are you doing?

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I heard that you quit 'cause you couldn't
take Snow's sexual harassment.

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Grimm, he made that up!

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Tillis asked me to stay here
in the castle till tomorrow.

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She said I can run when I need to, though.

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I see!

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If you're protecting her,
she's sure to be safe!

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What are you protecting tomorrow?

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Don't worry. Grimm and Rose
are part of the royal guard.

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They'll be in front of
the main gate tomorrow,

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handling the last line of defense.

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Don't die tomorrow, guys.

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If it gets dangerous, run!

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Impossible!

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We're proud royal guards!

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We'd choose to die rather than run!

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Right?

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Hey, guys, what did that sound mean?

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I'll do my best tomorrow!

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Commander, if it gets dangerous,
take Tillis and go!

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I'll do my best to stay awake tomorrow,
so leave it to me!

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I'm going to survive and
marry a wonderful husband!

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You're staying to the end with me, right?

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Just so we're clear,

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I'm letting you stay here because it
looks like Tillis asked you something!

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Don't think I forgive you
for what you did!

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Wow, you've sure got a stick up your butt!

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I'll smack some sense into you!

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You're going to kill me first, aren't you?

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You're not going to stop them?

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I finally understand!

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The two of them are fighting
because they like each other!

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Really, it's infuriating to watch.

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You heard them, Six.

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Lucky you, you're popular.

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Shut up!

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Why are we fighting when
the enemy's about to attack?!

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Men, protect this gate.

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Protect your home and family!

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Protect your honor!

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This is our hour!

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Show the Demon Lord that the Chosen One
isn't all they have to fear!

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Six...

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What will the enemy do?

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It's true! I saw it!

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The unicorn was lifting up
a girl's skirt with its horn!

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Um, Six?

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Unicorns are actually filthy old men!

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That "only let virgins ride them" thing
is just a preference!

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And Alice, too...

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Let's get to it, men!

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The Chosen One's gone!

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There's no one left to--

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Let's go!

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Make the humans fear our army!

19:07.430 --> 19:10.430
Hey, Heine, you don't need my help to
take out that tiny kingdom of humans.

19:10.430 --> 19:13.690
Don't take them lightly, Gadalkand.

19:13.690 --> 19:18.980
I told you. One defeated me.

19:18.980 --> 19:22.400
To be honest, I fear him
more than the Chosen One--

19:25.820 --> 19:27.120
What happened?

19:27.120 --> 19:28.950
My golem went down in a single hit!

19:28.950 --> 19:32.080
No one stop! You'll just be a target!

19:33.710 --> 19:35.540
What's going on?

19:35.540 --> 19:37.960
Damn it! Everyone, on alert!

19:37.960 --> 19:40.880
Crap! Him again?

19:43.800 --> 19:47.800
This is... the wavelength
given off by my magicite!

19:56.940 --> 19:59.900
You're hiding nearby, right, Six?

19:59.900 --> 20:02.320
What are you doing?

20:02.320 --> 20:05.660
Do you want to switch sides
now that the Chosen One is gone?

20:13.330 --> 20:17.880
My precious... magicite!

20:17.880 --> 20:21.260
This place's ecology doesn't
make sense to begin with.

20:21.260 --> 20:25.380
There're all kinds of impossible
things like curses and magic...

20:25.380 --> 20:28.510
I can use simple magic myself.

20:28.510 --> 20:30.640
Seriously? Let me see!

20:30.640 --> 20:32.980
I'd like to see that, too.

20:32.980 --> 20:34.810
Here I go!

20:34.810 --> 20:39.980
I'm only strong enough to use it once,
so watch carefully.

20:43.280 --> 20:43.990
--What I am about to show you
is the miracle of a great,

20:43.990 --> 20:46.280
--You earned evil points!
--What I am about to show you
is the miracle of a great,

20:46.280 --> 20:48.200
--I got evil points?
--What I am about to show you
is the miracle of a great,

20:48.200 --> 20:48.780
--Why?
--What I am about to show you
is the miracle of a great,

20:48.780 --> 20:51.660
--I put some porn mags in the houses
of the kids who called me Zipperman
--beautiful, and noble goddess,
worshiped by a hundred million people

20:51.660 --> 20:55.040
--in a place where their parents
would find them. Is that?
--beautiful, and noble goddess,
worshiped by a hundred million people

20:55.040 --> 20:56.250
on a distant, distant world.

20:56.250 --> 20:58.420
You... They're kids!

20:58.420 --> 21:01.840
--It's better than pulling down
their pants, right?
--In the name of the Water Goddess...

21:01.840 --> 21:02.920
--Well, as long as you got
some points for it, I guess.

21:02.920 --> 21:05.760
--Well, as long as you got
some points for it, I guess.
--Manifest, Aquans!

21:09.510 --> 21:15.060
Did you see it?
That magic summons a water spirit...

21:15.060 --> 21:17.270
Sorry, I wasn't looking.

21:17.270 --> 21:19.350
Me, either.

21:19.350 --> 21:21.480
Sorry, do it again.

21:23.480 --> 21:26.190
The Demon Lord's army is late, though.

21:26.190 --> 21:28.200
Maybe they won't come today.

21:28.200 --> 21:32.120
No, the minefield must be delaying them.

21:32.120 --> 21:34.200
Let's go home for today, then.

21:34.200 --> 21:36.410
Or maybe we should just run now?

21:36.410 --> 21:38.830
You two...

21:38.830 --> 21:41.670
Aren't you worried about the others?

21:41.670 --> 21:42.960
They'll be fine.

21:42.960 --> 21:46.800
They're my men, after all!

21:53.060 --> 21:55.180
They're finally here, huh?

23:37.660 --> 23:41.870
All the new combat agents
want to do is fight each other.

23:41.870 --> 23:43.080
New agents?

23:43.080 --> 23:46.210
F-18 and F-19.

23:46.210 --> 23:51.130
"Next time:
Episode 6:
'Combatants Will Be Dispatched!'"

23:46.210 --> 23:51.130
They're weird. F-18 smells like a hero.

23:51.130 --> 23:53.630
"Next time:
Episode 6:
'Combatants Will Be Dispatched!'"

23:51.130 --> 23:53.630
And F-19 feels like a mutant.

23:53.630 --> 23:59.010
Jeez... I always tell you not to take in
things that aren't dogs or cats.
