WEBVTT
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What's going on here, Astaroth?
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This wasn't the deal!
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I-I'm sorry about
the teleportation device.
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I really am, Six.
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Alice told me the truth!
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You sent me here on a hunk of junk
with a success rate of less than half!
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I'll get my revenge
when I get back to Earth!
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Oh, I know!
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The latest volume of God's Blessing
on This Wacky World! is out.
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You love this series, right?
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Consider it my apology! Okay?
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Don't be ridiculous!
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So my life is worth a single
volume of KonoSawa?
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If you really feel sorry, marry me and
let me be a stay-at-home husband!
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Sh-Shut up.
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You stop being ridiculous!
And submit a real report!
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"Report"
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What do you mean
you can't come home yet?
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I explained!
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I'm the boss here. I can't leave my
cute subordinates and go home.
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Supposedly the war means
there aren't many men there, right?
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And Alice told me that everyone
working for you is really cute.
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Forget that, where're my reinforcements?!
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That battle was a while ago and I
still only have a single mutant?
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What's going on?
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We don't have any to spare.
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Since we're close to conquering the world,
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the heroes have launched
a large-scale counterattack.
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Belial and Lilith are fighting on
the front lines. But things look bad.
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Actually, we'd like you
to come home, too...
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I'm an older model,
and washed-up, too.
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I couldn't help.
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Leave this world to me.
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I'm sure you'll do just fine.
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This guy...
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Staying there was your idea,
so you'd better produce results.
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And start focusing on our invasion.
01:52.350 --> 01:55.690
How the hell am I supposed
to do that without support?
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I can make you cry from here, you know!
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Don't talk to me that way
just because we're alone!
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Do it if you can, then!
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Fine, I will!
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--You are ordered to invade
a place to build our base!
--I'll tell you what they call me here!
Zipperman!
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Look at this!
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I'm sorry! Put that away!
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"Episode 7:
'The Con Artist Marriage Girl!'"
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We meet again, Agent Six!
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Today we finish this, meow!
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Fine by me, Tiger Man.
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I will fight you with my
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deceased subordinate's beloved weapon,
the whatsits-zapper.
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I'm not sure she's dead, meow.
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Also, it's not fair that you
get a magic sword.
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You're a mutant.
You're stronger than us agents.
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Give me a little handicap.
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Also, cut that "meow" crap, it's annoying.
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I heard that if you add "meow"
to all your sentences,
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the opposite sex will like you, meow!
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Really? Can I do it, too?
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If you want, meow.
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Okay... here I go, Six!
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Show me how strong you've gotten, meow!
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Fine by me, Tiger Man...
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Meow!
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Oh, shit!
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It's not my fault!
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Hey, Alice! Fix this somehow!
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Save us, Alice, meow!
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Fine.
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Alice-meow has the perfect solution
for you morons.
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Glue it back on and then play dumb.
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That's perfect!
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Six, where are you?!
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Today I've finally had it!
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There you are, Six!
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And the demon-thing's with you!
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--Where is my sword?
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--I knew she'd show up!
--Where is my sword?
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Now, give back my sword, Flame Zapper!
I've got a five-year loan on it!
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Um, that sword... It went on a journey!
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It, uh, became sentient all of a sudden.
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And it said it was going on a journey
to find its true master.
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Don't be ridiculous!
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Even if that were true,
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there's no way it wouldn't
recognize me as its real master...
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What are you hiding?
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Actually, the sword just
came back from its journey.
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It fought a desperate battle with
the Demon Lord and lost...
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It said your name one last time,
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and satisfied, it went back
to being a normal sword.
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Flame Zapper!
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Flame Zapper! I always polished you
every night before bed!
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Flame Zapper! The day I bought you,
I was so happy I couldn't sleep.
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--Oh, fine.
--Flame Zapper! I held you
in my arms every night...
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Here.
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What an incredible sword!
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It's beautiful!
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I'll give you this instead.
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Tiger Man!
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I always knew you were the best.
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You just called me
a demon-thing a minute ago!
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You're creeping me out, get off me!
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Wow, you're popular already, Tiger Man.
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I like girls who are little.
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This one's too big, meow!
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Wow, Tiger Man.
You're one of a kind.
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An enemy attack?
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Okay, Six! Let's go!
This is our chance to win some glory!
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Tiger Man, watch the castle for me.
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I'm on it!
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I can't wait to try out this sword...
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Now, to today's victory.
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Cheers!
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Nothing like a drink after work!
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Hey, I'm paying today.
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Drink up!
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Thank you!
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The only time I love the commander
is when he buys me food!
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I agree!
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But wasting money
is a bad habit in a husband.
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Aww, you guys are so nice.
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Did you think those were compliments?
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They say he's never lost
against the demons!
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Wow! So cool!
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Look!
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Everybody's looking at me!
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I'll have my harem soon--
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I smell Zipperman!
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I can smell stinky something
coming from your zipper!
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Zip it up, Zipperman!
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You again?
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--I'll jam a stick up your ass, damn it!
--Stop it! You're a grownup!
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You did great! I'll give you
a name when I get home.
07:51.380 --> 07:55.800
Snow, I thought you got your job
at the royal guard back.
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What are you doing with my unit?
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The princess asked me
to watch you, personally.
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She probably wants me to build
a connection with your home country.
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--Sure she doesn't just want
to get rid of you?
--Rid of me?
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You don't eat though, Alice.
It's rare for you to come here.
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It's part of my research on this planet.
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I'm putting together a report
to send to Kisaragi HQ.
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You guys really are wizards
from another world, huh?
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Not magic. Science.
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So, what are you investigating?
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There's a possibility that the crops here
are poisonous to Earthlings.
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For instance, do you know
what kind of meat is on your plate?
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Commander, if you won't eat
that orc meat, I will.
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Orc?
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I can't eat something intelligent.
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Yay! Chow time!
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You're normally so strong, but you're
delicate when it comes to food.
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Shut up!
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Hey, Snow, you're off tomorrow, right?
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Can you help me? I'll pay.
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Pay? I'll do it to help pay off my loan.
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What do I do?
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Your job is to investigate...
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...this.
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Mokemoke!
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Look, that's a Mokemoke.
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It's delicious when stewed.
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It's got a cute name,
but it's really scary!
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Also, that's a supopocchi
it's about to eat.
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It's also delicious.
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The supopocchi is fighting back.
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Snakes on this planet use
tail slaps to attack, huh?
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Fascinating.
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The supopocchi only
rarely use that attack.
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We're lucky we get to see it.
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We got some good data. Let's go.
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Let's stop talking and get out
of here before it finds us!
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Snow, why's that supopocchi
hanging from that tree?
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Oh, the Headsplitters
do that to mark territory.
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Let's go home. That's bad news!
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Do you guys not have any danger sense?
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The Headsplitters are extremely
territorial barbarians.
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Their name comes from the fact that
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when they see prey, they split
its head open with clubs...
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We don't need the encyclopedia entry!
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I can feel somebody watching us!
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They're sending a signal
to their comrades.
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That's right, Alice.
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This sound is the one they make to
tell their fellows they've found prey...
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Hey, guys.
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Huh?
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I thought they were with me!
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They're useless!
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And they're in for a lecture
when I find them.
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W-Well, it's kind of my fault for running.
I won't lecture them.
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So if you guys are around,
you can come out!
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--I'm not mad, so...
--Mokemoke.
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Mokemokemoke!
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Moke!
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Moke!
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--Mokemokemoke!
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--Moke?
--Mokemokemoke!
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Moke...
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Moke...
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It's hurt...
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Mokemoke! Mokeke Mokemoke!
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M-Moke?
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You recognized me as a friend?
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Moke...
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I just realized I don't know
anything about this planet.
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He may actually be a nice creature.
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That's right.
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Even if we're different species, born on
different planets, we're still friends...
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Who met in this forest...
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Moke...
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Doe!
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"She gave half to the tavern."
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You're eating my friend right in front
of me, with some nice soy sauce...
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You cold-hearted woman!
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What, you can't thank me
after I saved you?
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Now, now.
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Anyway, listen to this.
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Grimm dragged me to some
weird mass for Zenarith,
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and they summoned some undead with
some weird ritual! It was really bad!
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Here you go, Rose!
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Have some yummy kebabs
and keep your mouth shut.
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Grimm, did you summon undead again?
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What's wrong with that?
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I'm a believer in Lord Zenarith,
the God of Undeath and Disaster.
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What's wrong with summoning undead?
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Hey Grimm, do you mean
things like zombies and ghosts?
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That's right.
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I summoned a ghost.
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Hey, Six.
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She summon a ghost, an occult staple!
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As a disciple of science,
this is a declaration of war on me.
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There's already magic on this planet.
What's special about that?
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Magic isn't much different
than psychic powers,
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which Kisaragi is already researching.
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For example, Heine of the Flame's
fire magic is typical pyrokinesis.
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It's just a sixth sense.
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Six what-now?
You're a naughty little girl.
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I'm saying that ghosts are
less believable than magic.
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Alice, if you doubt Lord Zenarith's power,
he'll punish you!
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Curses are just hypnosis
and self-suggestion.
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There's no such thing as Zenarith.
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What?
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But Grimm can lose her head
and come back to life.
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And lizards can grow new tails.
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She may be some kind of bizarre creature
wearing human skin.
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Fine then, I'll show you!
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I won't stand by and let
Lord Zenarith be called a fake.
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Fine. I'll buster whatever myths
you've got with the power of science.
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Hey, why did I get dragged along here?
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It should be obvious, Commander!
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Because we need a witness to
my god's miracles, of course!
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That's right, Six.
14:17.020 --> 14:19.980
You need decisive proof
for frauds like her.
14:19.980 --> 14:23.060
Or they'll make excuses and pretend
it never happened later.
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Bratty little girl...
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You'll be going to hell when you die.
14:28.030 --> 14:32.450
Alice, I'll wipe that smirk off your face
and replace it with terror.
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Behold this poor, powerless sacrifice
I bought at the butchers!
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C-Commander, I'll make you
my assistant, just for today!
14:49.510 --> 14:51.630
When I give the signal send him
to Lord Zenarith...
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I don't want to do it, either!
14:53.340 --> 14:56.850
How can you be the archpriest of
an evil god if you can't even do this?
14:56.850 --> 14:58.970
Commander, your wuss!
14:58.970 --> 15:01.440
And Lord Zenarith isn't evil!
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Do I just need to whack it with this?
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Do you not have a human heart?
15:06.320 --> 15:08.780
That's right!
Where is your conscience?
15:08.780 --> 15:11.240
Androids don't have one.
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Fine! Fine!
15:15.820 --> 15:20.830
I thought this might happen!
Here, I have processed meat here!
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I'll use it today!
15:22.330 --> 15:25.080
You should've started with that!
15:25.080 --> 15:27.460
You got lucky.
15:28.750 --> 15:31.880
I've taken enough insults for today.
15:31.880 --> 15:35.840
I'll show you the true power
of an Archpriest.
15:35.840 --> 15:38.970
Lord Zenarith,
God of Undeath and Disaster...
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...accept this bloody sacrifice!
15:43.690 --> 15:46.100
Hey, Alice, this seems bad.
15:46.100 --> 15:48.480
It's just some fancy lights, wimp.
15:48.480 --> 15:51.490
She probably put them
under a sheet or something.
15:51.490 --> 15:57.240
By your great name, send me your servant!
16:02.410 --> 16:03.540
This seems bad.
16:03.540 --> 16:05.790
This is how the last boss shows up!
16:05.790 --> 16:07.630
Oh, my...
16:07.630 --> 16:13.510
I see someone here with enough desires
to summon a great devil like me.
16:27.100 --> 16:30.860
It's been centuries since I've been
called to the mortal world.
16:30.860 --> 16:33.860
Seriously? She summoned a super-sexy lady!
16:33.860 --> 16:36.860
Well done, Grimm! You're the best!
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Grimm?
16:38.280 --> 16:39.490
Wh-Who are you?
16:39.490 --> 16:40.330
Hey!
16:40.330 --> 16:44.580
I just wanted to summon
an ancient evil spirit!
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I don't know who she is!
16:46.500 --> 16:49.040
I'm curious about that
ancient evil spirit thing,
16:49.040 --> 16:52.670
but if you say, "Sorry, our bad!"
will she go back?
16:52.670 --> 16:56.550
Well? Didn't you want a wish from me?
16:56.550 --> 16:59.600
A wish? You'll grant any wish I have?
16:59.600 --> 17:00.720
That's right.
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I can do anything.
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I can grant any desire you have.
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O-Okay...
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Can you give me a harem?
17:10.520 --> 17:11.480
Commander?
17:11.480 --> 17:15.570
I know I'm not one to talk, but I don't
recommend deals with devils.
17:15.570 --> 17:18.530
How can I be part of an evil organization
if I'm scared of devils?
17:18.530 --> 17:21.830
Every man wants a harem!
17:21.830 --> 17:25.950
Very well. Then in exchange
for your soul...
17:25.950 --> 17:30.540
Hey, that's a pretty cheap
hologram you're using.
17:30.540 --> 17:31.750
Hologram?
17:31.750 --> 17:33.800
What's that, little one?
17:33.800 --> 17:36.170
No spoiling the fun, little one!
17:36.170 --> 17:38.130
That's a devil you're talking to!
17:38.130 --> 17:42.180
That's right! I am a great devil
who serves Lord Zenarith.
17:42.180 --> 17:44.060
And my name is--
17:46.850 --> 17:49.190
Hey, what are you doing?
That's so rude!
17:49.190 --> 17:50.770
Alice, stop!
17:50.770 --> 17:51.900
Don't interrupt me!
17:51.900 --> 17:52.860
Shut up.
17:52.860 --> 17:54.730
Don't interrupt my research.
17:54.730 --> 17:57.990
Hey, where's your real body?
17:57.990 --> 18:01.490
Oh, you realized that this
is just a projection?
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Forget that. About my wish...
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Is it under this?
18:05.990 --> 18:07.450
Cut that out!
18:07.450 --> 18:10.170
You can do your research
after I get my wish!
18:10.170 --> 18:11.920
Forget your wish, moron.
18:11.920 --> 18:14.800
Don't fall for a con artist like this.
18:14.800 --> 18:17.840
What? You doubt my power!
18:17.840 --> 18:21.430
I can stop your heart, you now?
18:26.310 --> 18:27.520
Huh?
18:27.520 --> 18:30.020
Androids don't have hearts.
18:30.020 --> 18:32.190
What's going on?
18:32.190 --> 18:37.110
Then... I'll grant your wish!
18:37.110 --> 18:38.490
Okay.
18:38.490 --> 18:41.320
Make me two or three habitable planets.
18:41.320 --> 18:43.530
Very well.
18:44.950 --> 18:46.870
What? Planets?
18:46.870 --> 18:49.040
Yes. Hop to it.
18:49.040 --> 18:51.160
Wait, wait a second.
18:51.160 --> 18:54.210
You want me to make two or three worlds?
18:54.210 --> 18:55.920
That's taking greed too far!
18:55.920 --> 18:58.460
You said "anything," right?
18:58.460 --> 19:01.720
Fine, exterminate some
of the local wildlife for me.
19:01.720 --> 19:03.930
The Demon Lord, the demons,
the Mokemoke...
19:03.930 --> 19:05.930
That's genocide!
19:05.930 --> 19:08.220
That's right! The Mokemoke
did nothing wrong!
19:08.220 --> 19:10.520
Can't you ask for something more normal?
19:10.520 --> 19:13.020
Wealth, power, eternal youth?
19:13.020 --> 19:16.730
I don't need wealth or power,
and androids don't age.
19:16.730 --> 19:18.530
Just let her go...
19:18.530 --> 19:20.860
You can't do this.
You can't do that...
19:20.860 --> 19:23.820
What kind of wish could she grant?
19:23.820 --> 19:27.740
Oh, I know. The toilet
in our hideout is plugged up.
19:27.740 --> 19:29.870
Let's have you fix that.
19:31.160 --> 19:33.500
You're having a greater devil
clean your toilet?
19:33.500 --> 19:37.880
Who do you think I am?
19:44.930 --> 19:48.350
So, you gonna clean that toilet? Or not?
19:48.350 --> 19:50.140
Which?
19:50.140 --> 19:53.390
Well you see, I'm a greater devil...
19:55.060 --> 19:58.020
Um... sorry.
19:58.020 --> 20:00.900
Forget it. Just go home.
20:10.240 --> 20:13.500
I feel bad for what we did to that devil.
20:13.500 --> 20:15.540
I don't care.
20:15.540 --> 20:21.800
Well, at least we were able
to prove my power is real.
20:21.800 --> 20:23.510
Why do you say that?
20:23.510 --> 20:25.050
Because that devil...
20:25.050 --> 20:28.680
Where's the proof that wasn't
a remote control or something?
20:28.680 --> 20:32.060
I asked for a ghost, anyway.
20:32.060 --> 20:33.600
W-Well...
20:33.600 --> 20:37.810
If you want to trick me,
you need to try a little harder.
20:37.810 --> 20:40.610
You third-rate con artist.
20:40.610 --> 20:42.400
I'm so mad!
20:42.400 --> 20:46.860
I worked extra-hard because
you said you wanted to see it!
20:49.700 --> 20:54.830
We're going to run out of water
at this rate...
20:54.830 --> 21:00.630
I don't want to do it, but I guess
we don't have a choice.
21:00.630 --> 21:05.010
Report on the local ecosystems and occult.
21:05.010 --> 21:06.590
I will attempt to gather more data,
21:06.590 --> 21:10.930
but I remain skeptical
of the existence of devils.
21:10.930 --> 21:12.350
My harem...
21:12.350 --> 21:17.060
If I'd been there, I would've sold my soul
to get my wish granted, meow.
21:17.060 --> 21:18.730
Is that what I think it is?
21:18.730 --> 21:22.570
I'd have them make me
a small girl, meow.
21:22.570 --> 21:25.360
It was more serious than I thought.
21:25.360 --> 21:27.450
I'm sad, but oh well.
21:27.450 --> 21:31.660
When I retire, I'll ask Lilith to give me
surgery to make me a pretty girl, meow.
21:31.660 --> 21:34.410
Cut the meowing, guys.
21:34.410 --> 21:37.250
Also, I negotiated with
a being called a devil
21:37.250 --> 21:40.250
and found them to be nothing special.
21:42.670 --> 21:44.300
Meow.
23:16.100 --> 23:17.010
"Astaroth the Ice Queen"
"Belial the Great Flame"
"Lilith the Dark" "Preview"
23:17.010 --> 23:19.730
"Astaroth the Ice Queen"
"Belial the Great Flame"
"Lilith the Dark" "Preview"
23:17.010 --> 23:19.730
Alice's reports are always so precise.
23:19.730 --> 23:23.190
"Astaroth the Ice Queen"
"Belial the Great Flame"
"Lilith the Dark" "Preview"
23:19.730 --> 23:23.190
Hey, what's this at the end?
23:23.190 --> 23:25.230
--"Meow."
--Meow.
23:25.230 --> 23:25.560
"Next Time:
Episode 8:
'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"
23:25.560 --> 23:27.150
"Next Time:
Episode 8:
'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"
23:25.560 --> 23:27.150
Spelling error, right?
23:27.150 --> 23:28.820
"Next Time:
Episode 8:
'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"
23:27.150 --> 23:28.820
Anyway, that's our meeting.
23:28.820 --> 23:30.650
"Next Time:
Episode 8:
'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"
23:28.820 --> 23:30.650
We've got a tough fight waiting, but...
23:30.650 --> 23:32.070
"Next Time:
Episode 8:
'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"
23:30.650 --> 23:32.070
Leave it to me.
23:32.070 --> 23:34.740
The word "defeat"
does not exist in my dictionary.
23:34.740 --> 23:35.160
"Astaroth the Ice Queen"
"Lilith the Dark" "Belial the Great Flame"
23:35.160 --> 23:37.870
"Astaroth the Ice Queen"
"Lilith the Dark" "Belial the Great Flame"
23:35.160 --> 23:37.870
Best of luck to both of you.
23:37.870 --> 23:39.200
"Voice Only"
23:39.200 --> 23:42.500
"Voice Only"
23:39.200 --> 23:42.500
I want you to come home soon, Six. Meow?
23:42.500 --> 23:46.250
"Voice Only"
23:42.500 --> 23:46.250
No, no way. That's not my character.
23:46.250 --> 23:49.130
"Voice Only"
23:46.250 --> 23:49.130
Anyway, what's for dinner?
23:49.130 --> 23:50.130
"Voice Only"
"Left the room" "Left the room"