﻿1
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[MOUSE SQUEAKS]

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[PENGUINS CHIRP]

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[ALL CHEERING]

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[SCREECHES]

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♪ Adventure Time ♪

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♪ Come on,
grab your friends ♪

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♪ We'll go to
very distant lands ♪

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♪ With Jake the dog ♪

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♪ And Finn the Human ♪

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♪ The fun will never end ♪

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♪ It's Adventure Time ♪

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Hey, Jake?

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Yeah?

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You ever wonder what a

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demon's heart looks like?

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Of course, dude.

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You ever wonder what a

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demon's heart tastes like?

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EVIL VOICE:
Hey, kid, you want some magic powers?

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Magic powers
for absolutely free.

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Heck yeah!

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Wait!

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Let's not be too rash.

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Just look at this guy.

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Check out the sunken,
lifeless eyes,

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the foul stench of decay.

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You know what that means?

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It means he's evil, I guess.

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Well, evil, sure, but

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mostly, he's unattractive, and

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unattractive people are desperate.

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You should haggle with him.

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Hey, I want more than

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just free powers.

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What else you got?

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All right.

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Free magical powers and...
[CRACKING]

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...and this keychain.

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Oh, oh, oh!

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Play it cool, Finn.

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Right.

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I begrudgingly accept your offer.

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Yes!

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Then the deal is struck.

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[LAUGHS EVILLY]

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You can pick up your powers

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right through that door.

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This way.

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[WIND HOWLING]

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[PBHT!]

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[GRUNTS]

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This place looks magical.

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You think this is where we
get the powers?

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Yes, I do.

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Free powers for all.

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Want some?

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Yeah!

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Are you the guy
handing them out?

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You seek Bufo the Wizard.

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So, where is that guy?

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He is here, of course.

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Uh...

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He's here?

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But he's not you?

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That's right.

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We should beat him up

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until he starts making sense.

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[GROANS]

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ALL:
We are Bufo.

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Oh!

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ALL:
So... So...

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ALL:
...you wish to be

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inducted into the ancient --

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...ancient order --

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Dang it, Leonard.

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If we don't talk at the same

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time, nobody can understand us.

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Sorry. Geez.

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ALL:
Ahem!

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So, you want free wizard powers,

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powers like... these!

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[LAUGHS]
Yeah!

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Yeah!

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BOTH:
We want them.

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Give us the stuff.

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- Yes, we do.
- Can't wait.

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ALL:
Then follow me.

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BOTH:
Whoo-hoo!

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ALL:
Behold the grand hall of

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wizardry.

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This is where young potentials

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train to become ultimate wizards.

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But most are not ready for the

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responsibility that comes with it.

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I'm responsible, dude.

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So am I.

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That's a lie.

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It is a lie.

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And I take full
responsibility for it.

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ALL:
Yes, yes, very

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responsible.

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Now I bestow upon you these...

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wizard cloaks!

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BOTH:
Whoa!

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Hey, this is a dress.

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Yeah. And I am into it.

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It's like gossamer.

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[GRUNTING]

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This way, I won't be embarrassed.

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ALL:
Fine, fine.

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Now, for every power that you

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accrue, you shall receive a star

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badge like these.

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This final star betokens the

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rank of ultimate wizard.

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BOTH:
Whoa!

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Mark me, Jake.

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I shall have that final star.

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Where do we start?

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ALL:
Level 1 -- Dustomancy.

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Yeah!

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Dustomancy, whatever that is.

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Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme!

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ALL:
To receive this power,

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you must first...

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eat these brooms.

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[ZIP! ZIP!]

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All right.

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[GAGS]
Wait.

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[SPITS]

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This is gross.

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Man, I can't eat this.

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Yeah, you can.

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Do what I do.

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[GROWLS]

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Ahh!

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[GULPS]

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[SQUEAK!]

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Oops.

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Ah, there we go.

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[BOTH GASP]

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Whoa, you got a star.

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[CHUCKLES]

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Observe my magics.

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Wait, Jake.

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Don't use them until
I finish my broom.

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[GROWLING]

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[GULPS]

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Last... bite.

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[GULPS]

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Dude, you got your

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star, too.

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We're Dustomancers!

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[GRUNTS]

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Nothing happened.

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This is a total rip-off.

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Bufo, you tricked us.

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Stupid power doesn't even work.

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ALL:
Calm yourself, boy.

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You are acting hysterical.

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Do you not see that you <i>are</i>

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using Dustomancy?

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Behold.

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I'm doing this?

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So... l have --

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ALL:
Yes!

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Mastery over all dust motes.

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You can also read their

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emotions.

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For instance, this mote is very

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unhappy in his marriage.

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That's... sort of cool.

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Sort of cool?

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This is radical!

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Whoo, yeah!

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Force that enthusiasm.

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ALL:
Are you ready for more magic?

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We get more?

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ALL:
So much more.

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Like level 2 -- the power of

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shadowcery.

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You can't see through those,
right?

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Nope, not at all.

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ALL:
To gain provenance over

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the shadows, place your hands

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into this bowl.

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What bowl?

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ALL:
No! Cover your eyes!

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[GROANS]
Fine.

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ALL:
Thrust your hands into

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this bowl... of eyeballs.

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Eyeballs?!

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Dude, it's okay.

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They're just peeled grapes.

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ALL:
No!

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They're eyeballs.

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[GIGGLE]

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Yuck!

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ALL:
Well done.

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You have groped the eyeballs

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fearlessly.

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Another star! Yeah!

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Shadowcery.

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[HORSE NEIGHS, GRUNTS]

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Onward, my shadow steed.

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Huh?

207
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No touchies.

208
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Wizard powers
are so cool.

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I want all the star badges!

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ALL:
Excellent.

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[LAUGHS]

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[CLING! CLING! CLING!]

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ALL:
Well done.

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[LAUGHS]

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[BOTH GULPING]

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[WHOOSH!]

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[MUMBLES]

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[WHOOSH! WHOOSH!]

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[SHING!]

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Whoo-hoo-hoo!

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Whoa!

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All we're missing
now is the big star.

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You ready to complete
the set, man?

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Nah, I'm good.

225
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What?!

226
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How can you stop now?

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Eh, I got everything I

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need -- a limitless supply of

229
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mayonnaise, this captivating new

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hairstyle, and I just learned

231
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the best spell of all.

232
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What's that?

233
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Sleep.

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[SNORING]

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Aw, what a lame-o.

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00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,981
Bufo, I'm ready to
get that big star.

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ALL:
To tell true, the last

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power is not free.

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Wha?

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You can't do this to me, man.

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I've got no money.

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00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,890
ALL:
No. No cash.

243
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,858
For the final star, you must

244
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take... the pledge of ultimate

245
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responsibility.

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Okay, I'll take that

247
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pledge.

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ALL:
Are you sure?

249
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:15,697
Perhaps you are not
sufficiently familiar with --

250
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I'm ready.

251
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,658
ALL:
Well, there may be

252
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,295
ramifications that you cannot --

253
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,566
just let me take that

254
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pledge, man!

255
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,165
ALL:
My word, I've never met

256
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,607
someone so irresponsibly

257
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:25,507
responsible.

258
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:26,567
Very well, then.

259
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:29,240
You must... grasp... my hand.

260
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That's it? Easy.

261
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,007
Whoa!

262
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:33,711
[GROANS]

263
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,718
Huh?

264
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,722
[GASPS]
My big star!

265
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,884
Yes! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

266
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,984
Wait. Where am I?

267
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ALL:
Direct your attention to

268
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the scale-model orb.

269
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Huh?

270
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:47,759
Is that an
asteroid heading for

271
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this very temple?

272
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:49,767
ALL:
Yes.

273
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It's been heading for this

274
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temple for 847 years.

275
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Only the magic of the ultimate

276
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wizards keeps it from getting

277
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any closer.

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00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,641
Quickly, add your power to that

279
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of the orb.

280
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:02,738
Oh, okay.

281
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:03,747
Whoa!

282
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,306
I got it. Now what?

283
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,716
ALL:
Now I release the elder

284
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,550
Jeremy from his pledge.

285
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:10,680
Razzamafoo!

286
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,348
It's about time.

287
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,825
ALL:
And you take his place

288
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,590
for the rest of
your natural life.

289
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,595
Awesome.

290
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,596
Wait. What?

291
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,292
ALL:
This is what you signed

292
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,834
up for when you took the...

293
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:23,926
pledge of ultimate

294
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:24,867
responsibility.

295
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,495
This is what all the

296
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,005
wizard training was about?

297
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,268
You tricked me!

298
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,570
Young wizard!

299
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,406
The asteroid approaches.

300
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,275
Oh, yeah, sorry.

301
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,541
[WARBLE! WARBLE!]

302
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,105
ALL:
I tricked you, of

303
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,878
course, but would anyone ever

304
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:40,885
volunteer to do this?

305
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:42,887
I'm out.

306
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:44,786
Aw, man, this sucks.

307
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:45,983
[GROANS]

308
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,288
Old people, there's
got to be a better way.

309
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,293
Nope.

310
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,829
This is how the ancient ones

311
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:51,727
wanted it.

312
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:52,661
Yeah?

313
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,994
I got a younger idea.

314
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:54,998
[GRUNTS]

315
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,159
You fool!

316
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,430
Your newfangled thinking will

317
00:08:58,504 --> 00:08:59,994
get us all killed!

318
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:02,336
Youth culture forever!

319
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:03,340
Whoa!

320
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,071
ALL:
Hey, have you gone crazy?

321
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,443
Get back in
the bouncy harness.

322
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:09,742
Sleep.

323
00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,407
ALL:
You are -- [MOANS]

324
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,076
[SNORING]

325
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,744
Ultimate wizardry,

326
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:15,946
activate!

327
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,114
Uh... hmm.

328
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,487
Maybe my footing's off?

329
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,993
There you go.

330
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,827
I cast dragon eyes...

331
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,661
tiger claw...

332
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,496
vorpal hand...

333
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,504
blazing feet...

334
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,506
beauteous wings...

335
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,168
and finally,
every other power I

336
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,677
didn't mention by name!

337
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,576
With all my
magics combined, I'm

338
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,205
powerful enough to move the

339
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:44,749
entire village out of the

340
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:46,910
asteroid's path.

341
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,250
[STRAINING]

342
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,586
[SNORING]

343
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:54,751
[STRAINING CONTINUES]

344
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:55,691
[GASPS]

345
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,194
I need some help.

346
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,389
Jake, awaken!

347
00:09:58,464 --> 00:09:59,897
Reflect.

348
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,160
Hey, I'm alive.

349
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,632
What's that up there?

350
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:03,862
[GASPS]
Oh, no!

351
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,699
Aw, my stupid young

352
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,534
idea will be responsible for

353
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,869
hundreds of deaths.

354
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:09,873
It sure will.

355
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:10,772
Huh?

356
00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:12,435
Old wizards, you ditched your

357
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:13,842
responsibilities to help me.

358
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:14,845
What?! No!

359
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,472
We left so we wouldn't be killed

360
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,413
by that asteroid.

361
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:18,415
Oh, okay.

362
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:19,951
Um, since you're here already,

363
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,613
can you lend me a hand?

364
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,452
[ALL STRAINING]

365
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:26,957
[ZIP! WHOOSH!]

366
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:27,993
[SNORES]

367
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:28,890
[WHOOSH!]

368
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,895
Huh?

369
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,089
Whoo-hoo!

370
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,096
Nice job.

371
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,065
Thanks to us,
the village is saved,

372
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,624
and we reclaimed a few of

373
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,691
your twilight years.

374
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,169
ALL:
Don't forget to thank <i>me</i>,

375
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,502
for this was my plan for

376
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,838
all of these 847 years.

377
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:44,898
No way.

378
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,308
Your plan
was to dupe a

379
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,176
succession of
rubes into keeping

380
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,441
the asteroid at bay.

381
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,244
ALL:
Perhaps you're right.

382
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,148
No more giving out free powers.

383
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,813
I hereby renounce all magic.

384
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:58,823
[SNIFFLES, CRIES]

385
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:02,452
My life is over!!

386
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:03,517
Chill, man.

387
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:04,995
You don't have
to quit your job.

388
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:05,894
ALL:
I don't?

389
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,057
Nah, just don't take

390
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,065
credit for ideas that aren't

391
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,066
yours.

392
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,569
ALL:
Oh. Okay. Good idea.

393
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:14,071
Glad I thought of it.

394
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,734
EVIL VOICE:
Hey, naked kid, you want some

395
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:19,573
free... demon heart?

396
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:20,873
Full circle!

397
00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:26,217
♪ Come along with me ♪

398
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:30,221
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪

399
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:34,225
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪

400
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:38,229
♪ And do so as we please ♪

401
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:42,233
♪ Come along with me ♪

402
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,769
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪

